


That One Time Some Idiots Tried to Attack the Oracle

by teecup_angel



Series: Vigilante Voldemort and Oracle Harry (aka: The Batman AU No One Asked For) [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Attempt at Humor, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 23:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6446524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teecup_angel/pseuds/teecup_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A non-magical AU where Tom is a vigilante called Voldemort and Harry is an information broker called Oracle.<br/>Then some idiots actually tried attacking Harry in his home.</p><p>(Also known as the Batman AU that was not created because of Superman v Batman, I swear)</p>
            </blockquote>





	That One Time Some Idiots Tried to Attack the Oracle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Of_Stories_Told](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_Stories_Told/gifts).



> This story was written for Of_Stories_Told who totally gave the idea of Tom being Batman.
> 
> In all honesty, this story was created because I watched ‘The Prestige’ starring Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale, directed by Christopher Nolan. While I was watching it, I remembered Dark Knight and then that reminded me of the Batman AU Of_Stories_Untold and I talked about in one of the reviews in CaBR. From there on, this mini-plot happened.
> 
> That’s pretty much it.
> 
> Warning/Notes for this story:  
> 1\. Established TomxHarry relationship  
> 2\. Unbeta’ed like the rest of my works  
> 3\. Non-magical AU that takes a lot of elements from Batman  
> 4\. Harry is a hacker/informant (aka: Oracle)  
> 5\. Tom is a masked vigilante (aka: Batman)

"And, in local news, Detective Albus Dumbledore has issued an official statement concerning the recent breakout from Azkaban-" Harry tuned out the news currently playing in screen number 5, focusing his attention on screen number 3 as he quickly typed in the command prompt. Screen number 2 suddenly chimed, showing someone had sent him an instant message. A quick glance at the said screen told him it was his foster grandfather. Harry sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he continued to type using one hand. Screen number 3 suddenly brought out a window showing the progress of his (illegal) download. Harry turned towards screen number 2 and decided to click the call button of his grandfather's contacts while lowering the volume of the screen number 5.

 

It took three rings before his grandfather picked up the phone and immediately asked, "Did you see the news?"

 

"Concerning Pappie Dumbledore? Yes." Harry replied as he checked all the other screens.

 

"Don't call him that." His grandfather snapped, making Harry roll his eyes, "Such arrogance. If that fool really thinks that pretending everything is alright will work, he's more of a fool than I ever expected."

 

"Why does it matter?" Harry asked as he grabbed screen number 7's keyboard. He quickly typed as he reminded his grandfather, "You're not even in Hogwarts anymore, Grandfather."

 

"And I would stop caring if my grandson stopped living in that hellhole." His grandfather snapped yet Harry did not feel any spite in it. If anything, the old man sounded concerned.

 

Harry rolled his eyes as he used screen number 1 to contact Hermione and Ron as he replied, "I'm in Hogsmeade, grandfather. As far as I know, I'm not exactly in Hogwarts in the first place."

 

"You're in the outskirts of Hogwarts. Not to mention, you're right next to Slytherin District." Harry rolled his eyes at the unnecessary reminder as he quickly typed an address before sending it to Hermione.

 

"Slytherin District is not that bad. If anything, it's the most secure district in Hogwarts." Harry drawled, "Too many pompous rich people stay there. They kinda pay for their safety."

 

"That only means more idiots would try to rob them." His grandfather grumpily retorted, making Harry roll his eyes once more.

 

"Don't worry about me, Grandfather. I'm perfectly safe here in my humble home." As if to laugh at his face, screen number 10 suddenly displayed a big warning sign complete with blinking red lights. Harry groaned and rubbed his forehead as he grabbed the corresponding keyboard. Harry observed screen numbers eleven to fifteen, the screens connected to the surveillance camera he had placed all over his 'humble home'.

 

There were three people wearing clown masks entering from the backdoor. Harry used the trackpoint of the corresponding keyboard to zoom in, noticing that all three had masculine builds and were all holding some kind of makeshift bludgeoning weapon. Harry took out his phone and pressed the number four in his speed-dial as he hurriedly said, “Sorry, Grandfather. Something just came up and it’s a bit urgent.”

 

“That’s quite alright.” His grandfather replied, sounding a bit peeved but understanding, “I will see you this weekend, correct?”

 

“Of course.” Harry immediately replied, getting up as he continued, “Bye, Grandfather. I love you.”

 

“I’ll see you soon.” His grandfather replied, making Harry smirk.

 

He knew far too well that his grandfather would never admit his feelings. Just the mention of the word ‘love’ already made his grandfather grumpier than usual. Harry supposed it was because Pappie Dumbledore did love that word.

 

Harry grabbed the croquet mallet next to the table and placed his phone in the breast pocket of his shirt with the screen pressed against the fabric. The Bluetooth earpiece in his left ear made a clicking sound before he heard his best mate’s voice asked, “Harry?”

 

“Hey, Ron.” Harry greeted, holding the mallet with both his hands as he informed him with a nonchalant tone, “Just a head’s up. Three people, I’m guessing males from their physical build, just broke into my house.”

 

“WHAT?!” Harry winced at the loud shout.

 

“I’m sending you a live feed right now.” Harry continued, leaning against the wall next to the doorknob as he continued, “If something bad happens, I’m counting on you and the rest of our cauldron to either save me or avenge me. Whichever is applicable.”

 

“Harry!” Ron’s frantic tone was the only noise Harry heard as he opened the door slowly, “Hermione will kill you once she hears about it! Just stay in the command room! We’ll be there soon!”

 

Harry highly doubted that. They were currently in Hufflepuff district, gathering information. It would take them at least an hour to get here and that was if they didn’t encounter any heavy traffic which was slim.

 

Harry slipped out of the room and the door slowly automatically close behind him, making a clicking sound as the automatic lock clicked in place. Harry pushed a part of the wall next to him before moving forward. Behind him, a false wall with an antique wall clock slid from the left wall, covering the existence of the door.

 

“Or call the cops!” Ron suggested, making Harry roll his eyes.

 

There was no way he was going to call the cops. The cops in Hogsmeade weren’t exactly the most reliable of people and Harry would rather not take the chance of having too many unknown variables inside his home.

 

Harry slowly walked towards the end of the hallway, immediately pressing his back against the wall right next to the intersecting hallway leading to the kitchen where the backdoor was located at. Harry raised the mallet over his head with his two hands, taking a deep breath as he whispered, “Shut up now, Ron. I need to hear them.”

 

“You’re mad! You are utterly mad!” Ron whispered before quieting down.

 

Harry could hear the soft footsteps of the three intruders. It also helped that he had placed a few wooden panels that creaked at the slightest weight.

 

Only those he trusted fully knew the location of all the creaky panels.

 

Once Harry heard the closest creak, he suddenly turned towards the next hallway while bending his upper body. He slammed the mallet against the chest of the intruder in front of him, crouching as he made a 360 turn. He slid across the second intruder, slamming his mallet against the third intruder’s kneecap. He jumped back and raised his mallet over his head as the third intruder fell on his knees. Harry struck the third intruder in the head, knocking him unconscious when he slammed his head against the floor.

 

Harry raised his mallet and took another step back, steeling himself for the incoming two intruders. Before they could reach him, Harry was suddenly grabbed from behind, making him gasp. Harry was pushed behind his unknown assailant and he was about to hit his assailant with his mallet when he recognized the black body armour.

 

Harry lowered his mallet and watched as the new player grabbed the second intruder’s baseball bat in mid-strike as he grabbed the intruder’s face with his other hand. He delivered a swift knee kick on the intruder’s guts before slamming the intruder’s face against the wall with a force that almost left a crack on Harry’s poor wall.

 

Harry took out his phone as he said to Ron, “Hey, Ron, I’m fine now.”

 

Harry heard the first intruder scream in agony as the sound of bones breaking filled the room but Harry simply informed his best mate, “My knight in shining armour came to my rescue.”

 

Another hard slam to the wall and the last intruder was knocked out as well. Harry glared at his supposed saviour as he added, “Which I didn’t really need since I got everything under control.”

 

“Of course you did, dear.” His saviour drawled as he walked towards him, his serpentine helmet distorting his voice into a more inhumane sound.

 

“Everything’s fine now. Now need to rush or panic. I’m fine.” Harry hurriedly told Ron, “Bye, Ron.”

 

Harry didn’t bother to wait for Ron’s reply and he immediately ended the call. He placed his phone in the front pocket of his jeans before greeting with a nod as he lowered his croquet mallet, "Voldemort."

 

Voldemort tilted his head as he greeted back, "Oracle."

 

Harry nodded towards his uninvited guests and asked, "So who're the poor souls and why did they target someone as insignificant as me?"

 

Voldemort's tone was amused and teasing as he asked back, "Isn't that your job, Oracle? To know everything?"

 

Harry's lips curved to a sardonic smile as he retorted, "Give me a few minutes and I'll find out. I was just asking in case the big sadistic vigilante of Hogwarts already knew."

 

"No, he unfortunately does not." Voldemort replied before suggesting, "Perhaps they knew that the long-time lover of Tom Riddle, owner of Slytherin Groups and MD of Riddle Enterprise, lives here?"

 

Harry leaned against the door and crossed his arms as he asked in mocked surprise, “Tom Riddle, the charming but self-centred multi-billionaire prat, has a lover?"

 

"Yes, a very feisty and independent young man who happens to be the adopted grandson of Detective Albus Dumbledore, the main thorn to every criminal's side here in Hogwarts." Voldemort took a step towards Harry, trailing his fingers on Harry's arm, as he continued, "I've also heard he's actually the vice-president of Peverell Corporation even though he almost never leaves this place."

 

"President." Harry corrected, grinning when Voldemort let out a small 'oh'. Harry didn’t bother correcting the part where Dumbledore didn’t officially adopt him since it seemed irrelevant considering the old man did think of Harry as a grandson regardless of the lack of official papers. Harry nodded and leaned closer to Voldemort as he explained, "Yeah, Grandfather handed it to me last month." 

 

"The great Gellert Grindelwald is now retired?" Voldemort asked with glee.

 

"Yeah, he's gone full grandfather mode now." Harry commented, placing his croquet mallet on the wall he was leaning on. Voldemort placed both of his hands on Harry's waist, pulling the smaller man closer to him while Harry continued, "He's going mental, I tell you. Always worrying about me and skyping me each time the news shows Pappie Dumbledore or the strongest, most powerful-"

 

Harry rested his arms on Voldemort's shoulders as he continued, "most fearsome and most vicious vigilante in Hogwarts."

 

"Sounds like a wonderful man." Voldemort commented, making Harry grin.

 

"Yes, he's a very wonderful man." Harry agreed with a nod, "Can be quite a sadist at times but he's very dedicated to his job."

 

Harry's lips curved into a grin as he added, "So dedicated that he'll pick up the call even if there's an awesome cute young man currently pressed against him."

 

Voldemort sighed in resignation before placing one hand by his ear. Harry watched as the snake vigilante pressed the small button on his helmet. The sound was too quiet for anyone else to hear but Harry knew it was ringing since his phone had already vibrated just a few seconds ago, a quiet reminder that his illegal download was finished and has already been sent to the proper ‘authority’. A second later, Voldemort annoyingly said, "This better be important, Nott."

 

Harry grinned and rested the side of his face against Voldemort's chest as he heard Nott's muffled reply, not that he needed to hear to know what they were talking about. Voldemort growled as he hissed, "Let Bella and Barty take care of them."

 

Harry raised his head to stare at the serpentine helmet covering Voldemort's real identity and he pressed his chin against the vigilante's chest as he reminded him, "It's the elusive Fenrir Wolves. Even Bella and Barty can't take them all by themselves. You know that."

 

Harry could feel Voldemort's glare underneath the helmet as he hissed, "Sometimes, I hate your job as the Oracle."

 

Harry grinned at him and retorted playfully, "If I wasn't the Oracle, Tom Marvolo Riddle would have continued living without an idea of what love is and the vigilante Voldemort would still be too sadistic due to Tom Riddle's repressed sexual desires."

 

"Because that's what I'm keeping you for." Voldemort's voice was low as he seductively hissed, "To satisfy all of my sexual desires."

 

 _“Sir, I am still on the line.”_ Harry heard the muffled voice of Tom Riddle's butler, Nott, coming from Voldemort's helmet. Harry snickered as Nott continued, _"Barty and Bella could also hear you."_

 

At that admission, Harry finally lost it. He pressed the side of his face against Voldemort's chest as he began laughing loudly. Voldemort pressed the small button on his helmet with a growl. When he felt Voldemort tighten his embrace, Harry raised his head to stare at him as he asked, "By the way, why are you here?"

 

"I bugged your security system." Voldemort drawled, making Harry raise an eyebrow. Voldemort pressed his helmet against Harry as he admitted, "Tom Riddle was simply in the vicinity because he wanted to ask if Harry Potter would have liked to have lunch with him."

 

"It's already lunchtime?" Harry blinked as he mused, "Huh. I didn't even realize."

 

"I'm surprised your two chicks didn't remind you." Voldemort commented, making Harry grin at him.

 

"They're called my birds of prey and they happened to be busy with another crime-related activity at the moment." Harry placed his hands on the cheeks of the helmet as he reminded Voldemort, "Speaking of crime-related activities... I think Harry will take a rain check on that lunch date since, unfortunately, Voldemort has to go do some vigilante work now."

 

"Unfortunately." Voldemort repeated in a drawl, making Harry grin.

 

Harry kissed Voldemort's helmet before whispering, "I think the Oracle will be able to finish all of his current tasks by 6. If Voldemort can wrap up all of his vigilante work by then, I'm sure Harry Potter and Tom Riddle will be able to have a private quiet dinner."

 

"And will Harry Potter be able to stay the night in Riddle mansion?" Voldemort asked in a slow seductive drawl that sent shivers down Harry's spine.

 

Harry pressed his body against Voldemort as he whispered seductively, "Maybe if Tom Riddle manages to keep Harry Potter in bed."

 

Harry's lips curved into a suggestive smirk as he whispered, "I heard Harry Potter isn't against handcuffs."

 

Harry laughed as he pulled away from Voldemort while the older man growled (or groaned, Harry wasn't entirely sure). Harry grabbed his croquet mallet as he waved in a dismissing manner, "Now, shoo. Go terrorize the criminals of Hogwarts."

 

Voldemort stared at him for a couple of seconds before finally saying, "Tom Riddle will see you later."

 

Harry smiled softly as he replied, "Harry Potter will always be waiting for Tom Riddle."

**Author's Note:**

> Yup. Ending it here.  
> Again. This is just a one-shot… unless I get more ideas but, even then, it’ll probably just be another one shot. 
> 
> Just notes of who is who in this universe:
> 
> Tom Marvolo Riddle  
> Secretly Lord Voldemort, the most fearsome and powerful Vigilante in Hogwarts  
> (I was actually thinking that Voldemort's outfit to be like Arkham Knight from Batman: Arkham Knight but, instead of a bat motive, his outfit has a serpentine look to it.)  
> Son of the late Tom Riddle of Riddle Enterprise and the late Merope Gaunt-Slytherin of Slytherin Groups  
> MD/CEO of Riddle Enterprise and owner/MD/CEO of Slytherin groups  
> People working for him:  
> Nott Sr as his personal butler  
> Lucius Malfoy as Riddle Enterprise's COO  
> Bartemius Crouch Junior as MD-in-training for Slytherin groups (as well as the Robin/Nightwing to Voldemort's Batman)  
> Bellatrix Black as MD-in-training for Riddle Enterprise (as well as the Batgirl to Voldemort's Batman)  
> Neville Longbottom as COO of Biotech Division in Slytherin groups  
> George and Fred Weasley as COO of Advanced Technology Research and Development Division in Slytherin Groups
> 
> Harry James Potter-Grindelwald  
> Secretly the 'Oracle', hacker and information gatherer for Voldemort, Hogwarts Police and other vigilantes in Hogwarts  
> Son of late James Charles Potter and late Lily Evans Potter  
> Adopted by Gellert Grindelwald of Peverell Corporation (was never officially adopted by Detective Albus Dumbledore but they act like grandfather and grandson, much to Gellert's annoyance)  
> President of Peverell Corporation and leader of the Birds of Prey, a vigilante group focusing on gathering information or providing supports for the frontline vigilantes in Hogwarts (They usually call themselves a ‘cauldron’ because a group of birds of prey is sometimes called a ‘cauldron’)
> 
> People working for him:  
> Hermione Granger as a member of Birds of Prey: full-time vigilante  
> Ron Weasley as a member of Birds of Prey: full-time vigilante  
> Luna Lovegood as a member of Birds of Prey: information and support; Doctor in Azkaban Asylum  
> Susan Bones as a member of Birds of Prey: information and support; Prosecutor  
> Detective Sirius Black as a member of Birds of Prey: information and support; Detective of Hogwarts Police with Remus Lupin as his partner; also Harry's godfather  
> Victor Krum as COO of Peverell Corporations
> 
> Hogwarts is a metropolis separated into four districts:  
> Slytherin District where the rich stays  
> Ravenclaw District that is also known as the business district (mostly elite corporates such as Riddle Enterprise and Peverell Corporation)  
> Gryffindor District and Hufflepuff District house most of the populace as well as certain malls and stores  
> A special place in Hogwarts is manmade island called Muggle Island which houses both Nurmengard High-Security Prison and Azkaban Asylum for the Criminally Insane. The safest way in and out of the island is through a very long bridge that can be destroyed if needed. Dementors are specialized guards of Azkaban.
> 
> At the outskirt of Hogwarts is the rural town of Hogsmeade where Harry lives. The Riddle manor is also in Hogsmeade but Tom's official residence is Slytherin mansion at the centre of Slytherin District.
> 
> If anybody is wondering what a trackpoint is: it's the red dot at the centre of a Lenovo keyboard.
> 
> Again, I honestly have no plans on this universe... unless I get ideas or something.


End file.
